Saturday, July 23, 2005

BI Has A Conversation With A Leftover Plate of Vermicelli with Shitake Mushrooms, Shallots, Garlic and Capers (title remind you of anyone*)

Me: Roberts seems to be qualified, no? I mean he's argued like 40 cases in front of the Supreme Court.

Shitake Mushrooms: Shouldn't you have soaked us for a while?


Shitake Mushrooms: That's why we were crunchy, asshole.

Me: Judge Roberts would never hear testimony from a dried mushroom! Capers, take the stand.

Capers: We're salty.

Me: Duly noted. Garlic, what do you have to add?

Garlic: Mr. Roberts has an extremely impressive record beginning with Harvard and with his most recent appointment. However, I have to object to both the shitake mushrooms and the capers. Neither cited precedent and frankly, capers are just weird.

Me: Shallots?

Shallots: I'm with garlic.

Me: I'm not surprised.

Comments-[ comments.]


"My Life is a circular reference". I thought of that sentence the other night and after 11 vodka and tonics it sounded pretty profound. I have no idea what the hell it means however. If anybody has any ideas, feel free to share.

Speaking of circular references, a lot of people have been asking me about the recent SCOTUS nominee (and by a lot of people, I mean two of my cats), and in my humble opinion, I think he is remarkably handsome! I mean really. President Bush picked a hunk and good for him! What I wouldn't give for five minutes under his shiny black robe! Oh, wait. I'm happily married and not gay. Not that there would be anything wrong with that.

And speaking of blowing a Supreme Court nominee, I'd like to debunk a myth:

"It's not the size of the wand, it's the magic that's in it".

Well, everyone knows that there's no such thing as magic, which means I'm left with just a small wand.


In other news, the next time I run into a Chilean, I'm going to say, "Man, you guys have fucking awesome sea bass!". Actually, I'd probably say, "Amigo, tienes cogida pesce, "basso de agua!".

Well, off to drink and swim. Something's never change.

Comments-[ comments.]
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